Life Without Memories by Grace Greene

Memories – they're what we’re made of.

Memories, to a very large extent, are what make us who we are. They form our history and inform our present. The sharing of memories bonds us to others. Memories guide us, provide context, support wisdom, and serve as a foundation for creating stories, for art, for imagination…and for how much more? Without memories, our lives and our stories would be colorless until we build more memories.

But what if we can’t?  

I visited my mom yesterday. She was a smart, capable woman. She was an amateur genealogist. She was a computer whiz when it came to surfing, shopping and saving photos. She was a gardener who grew azaleas, bleeding hearts, and nurtured her beloved peonies. She was a daughter, wife, and mother, a grandmother and great-grandmother, and she was the best paper-doll maker in the whole world. Now she has Alzheimers and lives in a memory care unit in an assisted-living home.

As the disease progressed and she lost parts of herself (not literally, but that’s how it felt to me) I grieved constantly. First, she lost the ability to make new memories and reasonable decisions. Then, in the ten minutes it took me to travel from her home to mine, she’d forget she’d just seen me. Next, fear overwhelmed her because she knew something was wrong with her world, but couldn’t understand what, why, or how to fix it. Then began the trips up the street. Her sweet, loving neighbors who’d known her for decades, would see Mom walking with purpose (to where, she couldn’t say) and would speak to her with kindness, cajole her, then take her home and call me.

Then the dreadful day came when she had to leave her home forever for a new place, a place where she would be safe, if not happy.

My grief has eased as I’ve ceased to fight against reality and inevitability. Now, it’s sufficient for me to see her content and safe, and catch an occasional glimpse of the person I remember. To appreciate a good day. To love what remains. When I visited her yesterday, she smiled and we conversed and laughed. Despite the missing pieces, it was worth more than I can say.

No one expected this. Not her. Not us. No one does.   

Yesterday’s visit got me to thinking about what happens when we are unable to create new memories and, over time, lose the ones we've gained through the years.

The stories of our lives, our experiences, the stories we pass on from generation to generation, fuel the creation of fiction. The places, the characters, the incidents, the voices we hear in our heads when we are writing a book, who demand to be heard – what happens to them when we lose them? Fiction or non-fiction, they become as dust, never to be savored again, no longer able to be shared.

So, what’s the takeaway? What’s the “moral” of this story?

Don’t wait. Do it today.

Tell it today. Sing your song, tell your tale, make new memories even as you cherish and share the old ones.  And while you’re at it, kiss your sweetheart, hug your grandbabies, cuddle your pets – dance the dance and yell and cry and tell the stories of your heart.

On behalf of my mom who’d tell you this if she could – DO IT NOW. 

~ * ~

Grace Greene, an award-winning and USA Today Bestselling author, writes stories of love, suspense and inspiration. Her Emerald Isle, NC books include her debut novel, BEACH RENTAL, which received a 4.5 star Top Pick rating by Romantic Times (RT Book Reviews). The sequel, BEACH WINDS, also received a 4.5 Top Pick rating, and a short story, BEACH TOWEL, and novella, BEACH CHRISTMAS, are currently available. "It's always a good time for a love story and a trip to the beach."

Grace also writes stories set in rural, small town Virginia. "Follow a Virginia Country Road and take a trip to love, mystery and suspense with a dash of Southern Gothic."

A Virginia native, Grace lives in central Virginia. Contact Grace via her website, GraceGreene.com and while you're there, please sign up for her newsletter!   Find her on Twitter as @Grace_Greene and on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/GraceGreeneBooks.   

While you’re visiting Sweet Romance Reads, I hope you’ll sign up for our newsletter, too.  Also visit our new Sweet Romance Reads Café on Facebook to chat with our authors, plus we have a Sweet Romance Reads Authors group on KOBO. Please check it out!

Out of Shape

When I say I’m out of shape I’m not talking about fitness and exercising. I’m talking about parenting the second time around.

I did my part years ago and my children are now grownups with families of their own. But it seems that I am starting all over again. No, my friends, don’t roll your eyes. I’m not expecting. LOL. But my daughter works thirty-hour-long shifts at the hospital NICU as a neonatologist. 

During these long shifts guess who takes over picking up the kids from school, driving them to gymnastic lessons and other after-school activities, helping with home work and cooking dinner, controlling what they watch on TV or their iPad? I’m even supposed to control who they call on their

iPhone. What a joke. I just got my own iPhone and I’m still faltering through the icons. Heck, the ten year old set it up for me and the eight year old downloaded her apps!

After dinner, I have to remind them to take their shower and brush their teeth. When they are finally ready to sleep, the eight year old invariably asks, “Can you lie with me?” Of course I do and I try not to fall asleep myself. 

The next morning, the alarm wakes us at 6:30 am. Have pity, I retired a few years ago and was delighted to turn off all the alarms in my house. But duty calls again. After I get dressed in a record time, I gently--very gently--wake two sleepy girls with a kiss on the forehead. And another, and another, until they finally get out of bed. Then we have a race against time, while they rush to the bathroom, dress up, comb their hair. They shriek and and claim that I pull it if I help. 

Super fast breakfast of a few coco puffs swimming in a lot of milk that I end up throwing because “we don’t have time”. Of course I have to remind them to take their vitamins, their jackets, while I prepare the snack bag and fix a quick lunch to take to school.

Ready to go and brave the early traffic, the 15 mile school zone, and morning cold temperature.

Why? Why? Because I love them to death. 

Young mothers, if you need advice from an expert on how to raise your little monsters, come to Nonna. Many of my romance novels include babies, toddlers or small children as secondary characters. 

WEDDING SURPRISE, (Holiday Babies Series Book 4), an emotional romance novel sprinkled with humor, is available at Amazon, Kobo Books, iTunes and B&N

 

 “Mona Risk knows how to pull a reader into the minds of her well-crafted characters. Her work takes us on a journey be it local or overseas.”~Night Owl Reviews.

A USA Today Bestselling Author, Mona Risk, has garnered an Outstanding Achiever 2013 Award at Affaire de Coeur Magazine. She’s also a Best Romance Novel winner at Preditors & Editors Readers Poll; Two-Time winner of Best Contemporary Romance Novel at Readers Favorite, EPIC’s Ebook Award Finalist, and is in the Kindle Top 100 Bestselling Author.