The End.
We close the book, or swipe off our e-reader app, with a sigh, satisfied that true love has once more prevailed and our hero and heroine will live happily ever after.
But isn’t that just the beginning?
Because, face it, whatever trials, tribulations and challenges our hero and heroine have had to face to get together, they’re all probably going to pale in comparison to those they’ll have to overcome if they’re going to stay together for the long haul.
Getting a relationship started isn’t all that hard. It’s new, fun, exciting and the mere fact that there is still so much to discover about each other holds such hopeful promise.
Sticking it out over decades, through thick and thin, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health … well, that’s not always so easy. Our hero and heroine usually need a little help.
There’s no end to the number of books on improving relationships. When that’s not enough, it’s time for therapy.
But seriously? Couples’ counselling is no fun. I mean, how romantic is it to sit there picking apart your failings and worst qualities in front of two other people, one your partner and the other a complete stranger? Or even worse, pick away at your partner’s failings? (Well, decide for yourself which you think is worst!)
How lovey-dovey are you likely to feel when you leave that session?
I’m not saying it doesn’t work, just ... wouldn’t it be nice if there were a more pleasant way?
According to researchers at the University of Rochester, there is and this one doesn’t involve dissecting your points of contention and working out the negatives. Nope. It calls for popcorn and a blanket.
Their study compared different kinds of early marriage intervention programs. They compared the effectiveness of three different therapies. The first two groups were led by therapists, who teach couples either how to navigate the difficulties in their relationship, or relationship skills that focus on positive acceptance. Over three years, the couples in these groups doubled their chances of sticking together.
What surprised everyone was that the third group did just as well. What did they have to do? Watch romantic movies!
Now isn’t that way more fun and … well … romantic? It isn’t that strange of an idea either - award-wining romance novelist Christine Bush, who is also a Family and Marriage Therapist, recently wrote on
this blog that she sometimes recommends reading a romance novel as therapy for her clients. (And to prove Christine right, just watch The Jane Austen Book Club!)
The couples in the University of Rochester study were sent home with a
long list of romantic comedies. They had to watch one a week together, and then spend thirty to forty-five minutes discussing twelve questions about the movie.
Imagine our hero and heroine having a date night once a week, snuggled under a blanket, hot chocolate and popcorn at hand, watching a romantic movie. Doesn’t just the idea of it make you feel all warm and cuddly? And then imagine them spending time talking together - no cable news, no reality TV, no phones … really talking, in the privacy of their own home, no strangers around.
Golly - no wonder those relationships flourished!
Here are the list of movies and the twelve discussion questions used in the University of Rochester study.
Now go get that popcorn ready.
Here’s to happy ever after beginnings!
~*~
Milou Koenings writes romance because, like chocolate, stories with a happy ending bring more joy into the world and so make it a better place.
Her new release, Reclaiming Home, A Green Pines Romance, is available at
Amazon and
Kobo. You can find her on her website,
www.miloukoenings.com, on
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