It's Never too Late to Learn by Karen Rock

It's Never too Late to Learn by Karen Rock

I brought my daughter, Danielle, to college this week and learned a few things without attending a single lecture.

1.       1. An empty nest doesn’t have to be negative. Think of it as an opportunity to fill it with new and wonderful things. My sister and I are joining a cake-decorating class at Michael’s and I’m excited to bring home new gadgets to try out in my kitchen. (Pssst. Don’t tell my husband ;)

 

2.       Being a parent doesn’t end when your child is eighteen. Danielle still needs advice and help. The only difference is that I offer it when she asks rather than jumping in and taking charge or assuming I know best. For example, bees kept coming into her dorm room (which we have nicknamed The Apocalypse- lol) and my husband talked her through the right channels to take care of the problem. Our job as parents may change, but it’s never done- and thank goodness for that!

3.       My identity is still the same. I don’t have to be a hands-on mother to be me. If anything, having this time on my own is giving me a chance to get back in touch with myself- my new self- who is older, wiser, and eager to meet the future rather than dwell on the past.
 
4.       Just as ice is still water, a separated family, though reconfigured, is still a family. That is a constant I can count on no matter the time or distance.

5.       I haven’t lost a child, I’ve gained an adult whom I’m so proud to have raised. No mourning the “loss” of the kid she was. I’m celebrating the person she’s becoming. There are lots of ways to contribute to society and raising a compassionate, respectful and conscientious person is giving the world a great gift.  At the end of the Steve Hawking movie THE THEORY OF EVERYTHING, he and his ex-wife look at their children playing in the palace gardens and he types: Look what we made. It was such a poignant moment because even a man as great as Steve Hawking knows that raising amazing kids is a far greater achievement than even solving the origin of our universe.
 
6.       I can master new technology. For example, I now know Skype isn’t some complex technology only 35-year-olds and under can comprehend. It’s just an app on my computer that lets me see and talk to my daughter every day. And yes- Danielle got a big chuckle when she helped Greg and I bumble through setting up our account. But now, I have added three cousins, both of my sisters and a friend from high school to my new Skype list and can talk to them, too! So happy to have learned this and renewed and strengthened connections with other loved ones.

7.       Change is frightening but, survivable… even something to be celebrated. There is no milestone or Hallmark card to acknowledge or congratulate us on having successfully reared a child, yet there should be. This is a big transition and one worth some kind of shout out… so I’m giving one, right here in this post, to all the moms and dads of adult children. Let’s be proud and happy about all that we’ve done and will continue to do.

I hope these new lessons help you as much as they helped me! Remember that just because you aren’t as directly involved in your child’s daily life doesn’t mean you are less of a parent. If anything, your child’s growing independence says one thing: “Job well done, mom and dad!”

What are your thoughts about the “empty nest”, whether it’s in your future, present or past? If you have a chance, I would love hearing from you in the comments section below. Thanks!

A Good Friend is like...

Friends are a gift from God.

A Good Friend Is Like a Four Leaf Clover, Hard To Find But Lucky To Have

A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down.

I was blessed with wonderful long-lasting friendships in my life.

After graduating from the private nun’s school I attended from the age of six to seventeen, my classmates scattered all over the country and even all over the world, but we still hold class or school reunions every few years. It’s funny and touching to see these women who are now mothers and grandmothers hugging, laughing and screaming like high school girls again.

From college, I kept contact with my two closest friends for many years but lost track of them ten years ago.

As a married woman, I made new friendships that dwindled as we moved several times.

What about work? Is it possible to built friendship at work? I did. Although I took an early retirement ten years ago, I am always happy to hear from my former employees, colleagues and company executives. They were kind enough to invite me to be the keynote speaker when I attended our company’s thirtieth anniversary. During my motivational presentation to three hundred employees, my book covers were projected on huge screens, but many couldn’t hide their incredulity and shock. “Who could have guessed Dr. Risk who ran the lab with an iron fist was hiding a romance writer under her serious appearance!” And the president of the company--who bought all my books--declared that I made him blush. It was wonderful to still feel part of the ‘gang’.

When I decided to quit the day job to write full-time, people warned me that I would miss the daily social contact that had become an integral part of my life.

Honestly I didn’t miss anything. In the writing world, I met writers and authors who became wonderful friends. We started our writing career at the same time, learned and struggled together, read and critiqued each others' chapters, cheered every little progress, cried and supported each other after every burning rejection, and finally celebrated together our publishing and successes.

I have many BFFs or bestest friends as my granddaughters say in my writing groups and loops. We have so much in common now. We spend hours organizing our combined books into boxes, scheduling, editing, publishing and promoting. If this is not friendship, I don’t know what is!

How do you keep your BFF?

 


A USA Today Bestselling Author, Mona Risk won an Outstanding Achiever 2013 Award at Affaire de Coeur Magazine and a Best Romance Novel winner at Preditors & Editors Readers Poll. Her latest Contemporary romance is:

 Wedding Surprise-Holiday Babies book 4

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http://store.kobobooks.com/en-US/ebook/wedding-surprise

iTunes: http://indi.uno/16YpUf1

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