from Gary Chapman
When two
people are in a relationship, it is important for each one of them to
demonstrate in some way the importance of the other in his/her life. The problem often arises in a
relationship when these two people don’t speak the same love language. They
don’t speak to the other’s deepest emotional need (a need that has been shaped
by their childhood). We want to be loved by the other and valued as worth
loving by that person. So how you
express your love is important in a relationship. You may be saying,
“I love you,” to your
significant other, but he isn’t hearing it because he doesn’t speak your
language.
These are the
five love language:
1) Words of Affirmation-Some people need to hear the words from
their loved one to believe they are loved. They need verbal compliments and praises.
2) Receiving Gifts-To others the receiving of a gift from
their loved one tells them they are loved by that person. The gifts don’t necessary have to be
expensive. The thought behind the
gift is what is most important. It
tells the person he was thinking about her. In a time of turmoil the gift of
your presence can be what is valued the most.
3) Acts of Service-There are some who need love expressed
through doing something for them.
It could be something like doing the dishes or taking out the
trash. It is important that the
act of service is given freely, not demanded.
4) Quality Time-Another love language is spending
quality time with your loved one.
I don’t just mean being with him.
I mean really talking and listening to him. You must be totally focused on him to the exclusion of
everything else. Within this are
also quality activities. When
doing things together, one should want to do the activity and the other has
agreed. You are showing your love
by doing the activity together.
5) Physical Touch-A touch on his arm as you walk by,
holding hands on a couch, or a back rub when he is tense can be to some an
expression of love. There are many
levels of physical touch and not all have to be intimate to show you love
someone.
Which love language do you speak? What do you respond to most?
Bonus: Dangerous Pursuit is on sale for 99 cents to May 11th.
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Bio:
Margaret Daley, an award-winning author of over ninety books
(five million in print worldwide), has been married for over forty years and is a
firm believer in romance and love. When she isn’t traveling, she’s writing love
stories, often with a suspense thread and corralling her three cats that think
they rule her household. To find out more about Margaret visit her website at http://www.margaretdaley.com.
I love this guide. I think I'm a combination of physical touch and words of affirmation. I know when I worked with the elderly, those were the things they felt were lacking most in their lives if they were alone. Great post!
ReplyDeleteI'm an acts of service and physical touch gal.
ReplyDeleteThis is interesting cos I'm finding it hard to narrow it down to one or two. I do know I would feel smothered to death to be told verbally all the time (and very suspicious..!)
ReplyDeleteMy love language is acts of service. So my dh does little things for me like opening doors... very retro!
ReplyDeleteI love this Margaret. So many people think the only way to express love is thru sex when that is only a tiny aspect. It is important for our younger generation to understand this. Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteWhat an interesting blog post. I found it difficult to narrow down how I am, but acts of service, physical touch and quality time together are mine, I think. I don't need words of affirmation or gifts. Although I do like the odd bunch of flowers! My husbands are the same, I think.
ReplyDelete