Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Looking Back While Facing Forward by Patricia Knoll/Patricia Forsythe

While I realize that January is supposed to be a time of looking forward, I invariably find myself looking back, as well. There are always things we leave behind from one year to the next, things we started in January and which didn’t even last two weeks – like the Cabbage Soup Diet, anyone remember that one? Shudder! There are always things we meant to do, not just starting a diet and finally losing those twenty or thirty extra pounds, but clearing out unwanted items, shedding things we’ve collected over the years and never use, like the melon baller I’ve never once employed in the production of melon balls.

Sometimes good things are left behind, like a budding friendship or romance we didn’t pursue and allowed to drift away. It could also be a project we started or intended to start but never completed. There are years when we lose loved ones and we wonder how we’re going to live without them – and yet, somehow we do. We treasure the nostalgic feelings, the memories, the possessions they left us and we hang onto the lessons they taught us. Picking up one of their precious belongings, or recalling what we learned from them, are what enables us to move into the future.

I’ve been thinking about this more than ever this month because at Christmas I received a card from a friend I hadn’t heard from in years. We’ve known each other since the age of three, grew up together, went to school together, shared absolutely everything throughout our adolescence, but then we drifted apart into different interests and different friends, careers, marriages and families. Hearing from her made me realize there had been a hole in my life that was just her size and it was time to fill it. One weekend very soon I’m going to dig out the old pictures I inherited from my mom, the old high school year books my mom saved and make the six hour drive to see her. She remembers everything about childhood that I remember, her two sisters were friends with my two sisters, and our parents were friends, too. She’s a valuable source of memories with which I want to reconnect. Looking back but moving forward at the same time gives richness and meaning to our lives. It’s a lesson I don’t want to forget.

~ * ~

Patricia Knoll has held a number of jobs, including teaching school, working as a librarian and as a secretary, and operating a care home for developmentally disabled children. Her favorite occupation, though, is writing romantic comedies in which the characters get into challenging, humorous, or outlandish situations and then work their way out. Each situation and set of characters is different, so sometimes the finished book is as much a surprise to her as it is to the readers. She is the author of 25 romance novels for Harlequin and Kensington Books and is thrilled to now be able to make some of her backlist available for sale online. She writes her online e-books as Patricia Forsythe. Visit her at patriciaforsythebooks.com.

9 comments:

  1. I'm always amazed in January how quickly another year goes by. As I get older, the years seem to go by even faster. Looking at old photos makes me realise how I've changed and my children have grown older (well, I've grown older too!) but you don't see the differences in the day to day. How lovely that you were able to reconnect with an old friend! That's really wonderful.

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  2. I hear you. I just travled for 2 weeks and managed to stop at the house of 4 very dear longtime friends. So precious.

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  3. It's great to have old friends who remember the same things we remember. I think that's why people like high school reunions so much.

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  4. I agree, the turn of the new year is a time for reflection. Last year was a stressful one for me personally and I'm pleased to be able to leave that behind and move forward. I prefer to look forward rather than backward. There is always hope for better things in the future!

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  5. Very true about the New Year. I had to laugh about the Cabbage Soup Diet. I tried that one year! Ick and LOL! So glad you reconnected with your friend. I hope you have a wonderful time when you get to see each other face-to-face!

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  6. What lovely thoughts about reconnecting with old friends. I hope you and yours have a very happy reunion! And, for the record... *hand up* as one who tried the dreaded cabbage soup diet. LOL. It actually worked for me the first time (after having a baby). Years later I tried to go back on it, but couldn't stomach it again. :)

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  7. Lovely thoughts, Patty. Brought home all the more because just last week, a good friend from the past died, just out of the blue I enjoyed her so much when we lived closer, ands now deeply regret the years we could have stayed in touch better.

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  8. See what I mean about shared memories? I didn't realize so many people had actually tried the Cabbage Soup diet. We all have friends we need to reconnect with, though. A good friend is something we never want to lose.

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  9. How beautifully you articulate it - "there had been a hole in my life that was just her size." So true. This resonated with me so much. Two summers ago I reconnected with my best friend from Junior High after losing touch for 20 years. In that time, there had been marriages, divorces, adoptions, and transcontinental moves ... but even so, it was as if nothing had changed between us and the next thing I knew I was flying over to Paris so my kids could meet her! You're so right - when we love someone, they take a place in our heart that's uniquely theirs that no one else could fill!

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