Communication by Merrillee Whren

Writing is the art of communicating, but what happens when you don't understand the language? My husband and I recently returned from a trip that took us to The Netherlands, Norway and Belgium. During the trip we were surrounded by the sound of languages that we didn't understand. Some places have universal signs for things like restrooms, exits and elevators. We always appreciated finding people who spoke English. I took a lot of pictures, and I'm going to share some that communicate a message and some that I found lacking an explanation.

 This street had umbrellas covering it, and I have no idea why. What do you think?

Does the pink bow tell you that this troll is a girl?

What does this emblem above the door say about this establishment?

This place is appropriately named. It is known as graffiti street.

I have no idea what this golden statue was intended to communicate. What is your guess?

Here is an interesting piece of art work that I found over a street. It is made of boards nailed together in a random fashion. What do they say to you?

How do you feel when you can't understand the signs or what people are saying? How do you compensate for your lack of communication?

I will give away the first book in my Village of Hope series, Second Chance Reunnion, to one person who leaves a comment. I will draw the winner on August 15, 2016, at 9PM PDT.

Have you subscribed to our Sweet Romance Reads newsletter yet? 
Don't miss our next issue!
 Look to the top right and click on the photo to subscribe today. 

Merrillee Whren is the winner of the 2003 Golden Heart Award presented by Romance Writers of American. She is married to her own personal hero, her husband of  thirty-five plus years, and has two grown daughters. Connect with her on her Facebook page and sign up for her newsletter.

Love is Important by Christine Bush

Love is important.  I think romance readers and writers know that for sure!

We like it on the page, in the story, and also in our own lives.  Sometimes though, real life love doesn’t read like one of our favorite novels.  What can help us find our own happily ever after?

In my “other life” as a marriage and family therapist, I’ve come to love a book that was written several years ago (but still readily available) by Dr. Gary Chapman, and I wanted to share his message.

 

The book is called “The 5 Love Languages”. Have you read it?

His theory is that there are five ways that we “express” love.. and also five ways that we “perceive” love.

As every person is an individual, with specific personalities and life experiences, people may have a different priority of these languages, and they often differ within the “couple”.  If we do not understand our partner’s love language, or don't define and express our own, miscommunication and resentments can build.

Here they are.  Which is your main love language?

Affirmation:  People with this language SAY the words, and usually need to HEAR the words.  “I love you.  Thank you. You mean a lot to me.” No, they can’t guess what you mean, and they can’t imagine it. They need to HEAR it.

Time:  Eyeball to eyeball.  No tweeting, facebook scrolling, reading the paper.  These folks need your undivided attention. They  get affirmed by your time.  “Can’t we just spend time together?” “Are you listening to me?” “Can you just sit down and talk?”  Not being willing to do this feels like a giant insult, if this is the priority love language.

 

Gifts: It’s not about an expensive bauble. It’s about the thought.  These folks feel loved by giving or receiving gifts.  It might be a single flower. A cup of coffee.  A poem.  Or stopping at the store because you heard they need eggs.  Proof that you thought of them.  Took the time. A gift makes the sun shine for someone with the “gift” love language.

Service:  Some people show their love by “doing things” for people.  Carrying a bundle. Opening the door.  Help with the dishes. Picking up the laundry. Washing the car. It’s about somehow making the workload LESS.  For service people, getting (or giving) help affirms the appreciation of all the person does.

 

Touch: It’s not just about the sex. It’s about touch.  For some, love is shown by a simple pat on the shoulder, a touch, a hug, a hand held while sitting on the couch or walking down the road.  Not touching feels like holding back, like personal rejection.  These folks like skin to skin, even in the most simple way.

Many of us have more than one.

So often we think we know.  We have made assumptions about our partner’s love language, and we’ve modified our own. Sometimes it’s hard to admit what we need or to dare to ask a partner to define their needs.  But the truth is, daring to put words to the feelings can make a GIANT change in a relationship. Long term.  I love when I see this.

Chapman’s book has some fun “quizzes” to take with your mate that prompt some good conversation and communication.  I recommend it.

He also has another book that talks about families, about what our children need in their “love language” from us, and what they might learn about ours.  Also powerful.

What’s your love language?  I’d love to hear.

Christine Bush is the award winning author of many books and novellas of sweet romance and light mystery. She also writes Middle Grade Fiction. When she isn’t writing, she can be found working with clients as a Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice, or teaching Psychology at a local college.  She lives with her family and two crazy cats in northeastern Pennsylvania, and loves to hear from readers and aspiring writers.

Her latest book “Cindy’s Prince” can be found at  http://www.amazon.com/Cindys-Prince-Christine-Bush-ebook/dp/B00IFSRVJ2/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1393781746&sr=1-1&keywords=christine+bush+cindy%27s+prince

www.ChristineBush.com

 

 

The Shorthand of Love by Sierra Donovan

After 20 years of marriage, do my husband and I finish each other's sentences? Well, not that I've noticed. But over the years, we've definitely developed a vocabulary that makes sense to very few other people.


For instance, we watch so many versions of "A Christmas Carol" together each year that it's scary. It could be July, and I might toss out a quote like "I'm beginning to think you've gone through life with your eyes closed." He'll immediately know, not just what I'm quoting, but which version of the film. (Answer: 1984, starring George C. Scott.)


My husband might give me "the Fluke look" when I suggest something he finds ... questionable. Years ago, we were picking out a movie when we didn't know a lot about the choices at the theater. I suggested "Fluke," about a man who's reincarnated as a dog. He was dubious, but we went with it. Two hours later, he was still dubious, and he's kidded me about it ever since. Obviously, I can't replicate the expression here on the blog ... but you'd know it if you saw it.


Sometimes we call an expense "the best hot water we've ever had." A while back, we had to replace our water heater, to the tune of about $2000. We groaned because it's not even like needing to buy a new car or a new refrigerator, where at least you can see the difference. Now it's turned into a wry joke we make whenever we have to spend money on something that's absolutely necessary, but doesn't make a noticeable difference in our lives.


And on and on, most of them with background stories that take a long time to explain. But even with an explanation, it's not the same. Because you had to be there. And I'm so glad both of us were. (Hey, it beats facing a broken water heater alone.)


Movie lines, song lyrics, funny or embarrassing moments ... it's all part of the vocabulary we've built up through the two decades of our marriage.


I write -- and read -- romance novels because the discovery of new love is fun and exciting. Stories on the printed page let us experience that discovery again and again. But for my money, nothing beats a love that's been around the block. As the years go by, we gain more and more shared history. And with it, we build a deeper and richer relationship.


It's one of the major rewards of a long, loving marriage ... and it's one I wish for the couples in every romance as they head down the road toward their happily-ever-after.

* * *

Sierra Donovan is a wife, a mother of two and a writer, though not always in that order. Her job and greatest joy is helping people find true love on the printed page. She's a firm believer in old movies, Christmas, chocolate fudge and happy endings. To find out more, feel free to drop by her website.

* * *

Sierra is the author of Meg's Confession and Love on the Air, which was a Holt Medallion finalist. Her next novel, No Christmas Like the Present, is due out in October from Kensington Books. Her books are available at Amazon.com and BarnesandNoble.com.