I knew my husband was The One the very night I met him. In
fact, I remember telling my best friend, "I'm going to marry him." She
looked at me as if I'd lost my mind and reminded me that I had known him a
total of three hours. I was as surprised by my proclamation as she was hearing
it. Oh, I should probably reveal that I was fifteen years old at the time. Crazy,
I know, and I am happy to report that he and I have been together for thirty-nine
years, married for thirty-six.
How did I know so emphatically that I was in love? I have
often wondered. Love is an amazing, almost magical, human emotion. For me, love
arrived like a flash of heat lightning on a summer evening. That's called love
at first sight. For others, love comes more slowly, like the changing of
seasons. No matter how or when it strikes, love has been bringing people
together from the beginning of human existence.
So how does love work? Does the emotion start in the heart
or the head?
I'm not talking about mere physical attraction. That's lust—a
completely different topic. I'm talking about the mutual emotion between two
people that urges them to form a lasting bond, which compels them to build a
life together.
Some people might say love starts as a chemical reaction
sparked by synaptic connections in the brain. It might sound unromantic, but
science has proven that pheromones are involved, as well as visual responses,
neurotransmissions of dopamine and serotonin, and releases of hormones, just to
name a few ways the subconscious influences who makes us fall head over heels.
Despite all the scientific jargon, I like to think my heart
had something to do with my love connection. Yes, the night I met my husband
all those years ago, he made me feel attractive. The look in his blue eyes told
me he thought I was pretty. The undivided attention he showered on me showed
that he found me interesting, and he made me think. The smile on his lips and
the warmth of his hand in mine as we talked made me feel desired. But there was
much more to it than that. He stirred my curiosity, my compassion. He was kind
and considerate. In the three hours we sat together, he proved that he was very
intelligent, he made me laugh, and he made me feel safe in a way no one else
ever had. In other words, he touched my heart, and he continues to pull at my
heartstrings every single day.
So what do you think? Does love come from the heart, or from
the brain?
~~~
I think it's a combination, for sure. Well, of course it has to come from the brain because that's where emotions are, but I think the part we refer to as being in our hearts grows as we know someone.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Aileen. A combination of heart and brain, I believe. There is an indefinable quality to love that is pure instinct and I believe comes from the heart, there is also the more rational compatibility of shared values and beliefs. Lovely story about your love at first sight, Donna!
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful post, Donna! It really moved me. Just like you, I met my husband when I was still a teenager (19). And I knew within minutes that he was the love of my life. Don't know if it was my head or my heart but, I'd like to think it was all of me. We were married a year later and are still married many years. We have been together all our adult life and we're still so mad about each other. Maybe it was just luck that he happened to be there at that party. I'd like to think it was written in the stars and meant to be, but I'm a true romantic.
ReplyDeleteSo you experienced love at first sight. I did twice. Glad i married #2--40 years this fall.
ReplyDeleteI think it's a combination of the heart and brain. After all, if the intellectual alibis our characters create to protect themselves didn't exist, they'd fall in love on page 1.
ReplyDeleteI definitely think it's a mixture of the two but the heart definitely leads. Thank you for the wonderful post!
ReplyDeleteAccording to yoga & chakras, love and relationships come from the heart. Lust, however, doesn't come from the same place.
ReplyDeleteYes it's a combination of heart and brain. It better be, because if it was only heart, but no brain, I have a feeling it wouldn't last long. Congratulations on being married thirty-six years. May you have many more years together.
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful post, Donna! Whether from heart or brain, I like to believe that love grows and develops with time and experience ... but I know love at first sight is real and life changing :)
ReplyDeleteGreat post, Donna! I'm more a head person, but falling in love is indeed magic!
ReplyDelete